The Urge, Respect and Wellbeing

 

Hi,

harini the urge nak follow account instagram dia tu tinggi. Tapi mengingatkan apa dia cakap terus tak jadi. Respect una respect. Boleh kan? Dia kata dia set boundaries dari orang yang dia tak rasa safe or strangers. So secara tak langsung kau strangers only not considered as friend. 

Please una jangan cari pasal. Kena  sedar diri. Know your place. Dont  do anything that can hurt yourself. You see it by yourself. How he reply to you vs others . Tak ada emoji tak ada lebih. That is called boundaries. Learn to respect the boundaries please. 

Lagipun unaaaa this is the price you need to pay  sebab you initiate  this. Takpe just give support dari jauh. 

Anggaplah as fan . We cant force connection kan?

dia dah reply nicely dekat discord tu kira okay. Cuma memang we can sense the difference la. The vibe is not the same. Maybe he is being careful. I cant even blame him for doinng that. I totally understand. 

Mesti rasa awkward or terpaksa.  I guess i taknak la lepak lama lama discord tu. Dulu i rajin tau macam active gila now and macam tetamu tak diundang. datang duduk react dan blah. 

I wonder if i tak cakap apa apa things would be different now.  I boleh sense orang awkward and berhati hati. So maybe i need to keep my distance a bit i guess supaya dia selesa. If anything i taknaklah dia tak selesa pulak.

btw doakan i cepat kurus tau. sekarang benda benda perasaan ni i malas nak fikir dah.

I nak focus on my wellbeing , build my confidence and nak kurangkan insecurities. 

Okaylah

till then 

ttyl

 una mn

Negativity Repellant

 

Hi

harini  i mc lagi . semalam i demam  harini i demam jugak and my voice still tak ada. i rasa bersalah sebab mc . i tak suka ada bad record macam ni. Tapi ever since i masuk this company i senang sakit. Mungkin i absorb banyak negative energy? Idk . Sebab i takut my team head tak percaya i sakit so i datang dulu kerja. i jawab 3 calls.  All customer macam

what? can u speak louder? 

haaa? say it again?

suara i dah macam chipmunk. i can tell  they fighting for their life to laugh. Me pulak pressured. sebab semalam kan i kena kacau dengan orang so moody i tu terbawak ke office. So i diam jap kena gelak. 

lepastu i pergi dekat one of the manager . I call her kim . 

kim: yes iris ?

me: i think  i need to go mc

kim : (muka tahan gelak) yes you should. i will email wfm now

i ni mixed feelings tau. Tengah sedih ni tapi dengar suara sendiri pun rasa nak gelak. 

then i go ambik mc doctor pun concern sebab dr kata tonsil i bengkak. I sebenarnya sedih korang. sebab i rasa i enjoy doing live on tiktok tapi sebab ada orang ganggu ketenteraman mindaku terpaksa la private jap. Adakah i patut buat bodoh je and go je live?  semalam i rasa 4 ke 5 account yang harass tu i block 

tapi i seriously rasa it is the same guy yang rasa ego dia tercabar bila i tegur. Sebab pagi semalam i dah la tak sihat, sakit tekak  tiba tiba kena macam tu memang i tak boleh control marah i.

tbh i  tak tahulah i salah sangka ke dekat E tu. macam kesian pun ada dia kena block. Tapi itulah sebab instinct i rasa i might know this person in real life. And he wants to know about me banyak tapi reluctant to share even his age . Dia cakap dia 26 . lepastu berani berani ajak i keluar. i saja act dumb when he try  to initiate something i rasa macam wow bro boleh bertenang kot. My intention go live tiktok bukan  nak cari partner ke memang tak.

we know each other less than a month. I dont even know your face. Entah entah kau scammer. HAHAHA

lepastu  jujur je cakap dekat dia i  tak available. After all i bukan perempuan miang. I anggap social media macam a fun place to me. 

i tak boleh disclose banyak sebab i think iykyk la ye. The person yang i cakap tu tahulah. tapi i tak harap apa apa  dan i dah terima dah pun . and now my focus ialah nak habiskan degree and i nak sangat bukak business dekat madinah.

i rasa i nak tenang. Madinah tempat tenang i.  tapi i tak nak duduk situ. i macam nak sesekali ke sana faham tak? cita citaku setinggi langit sebab apa?

sebab saya hamba yang MAHA KAYA. so biarlah kan?  haritu E cakap i nak buat madinah macam cheras sebab i nak lari pergi sana. I tak faham la dia ni. suka hati i lah . He is a stranger online yang posessive itu yang buat sis takut. I kan live i tak expect orang masuk. I memang literally buat live tiktok tu macam place untuk practice bercakap je. 

He is  not even my friend. tapi he belittle my dream. i tak suka orang belittle my dream. he keep saying that impian tak logik.Macam nak crush my hopes and dreams. I find people like this so shallow.

i mean kalau i kan. i suka hype my friend. When i see my friend doing business i akan immediately bagi words of affirmation to them . Tak kisah la diorang fikir i just mulut manis ke fake ke. I genuinely nak tengok kawan kawan i berjaya dalam apa je yang diorang nak capai.

Idk if E baca ni dia terasa ke. Sebab paling i tak suka dia cakap macam ni. Kat malaysia ada banyak bunga kenapa beli dekat singapore.i'm just being a supportive friend. Who are you to judge me?  Okay i rasa quarter 1 2026 ni macam i banyak menangis dah. I dah rasa muak penat dealing dengan manusia negative sampai i jadi negative juga.

Untuk mengelakkan saya jadi manusia negative lagi.  I think i just take my friends's advise about setting boundaries. I guess apa dae cakap betul.  2 days ago masa dia live i finally masuk la balik live dia becausei miss everyone. so ada orang cakap pasal mbti. So i cakap mbti i  infj-t 

ada satu girl ni tak silap i dia bagi words of affirmation i terharu gila. i tak ingat nama dia siapa sebab dia macam new jugak. She said i am sensible. I rasa happy dengar sebab not everybody get me that way. whoever you are if i jumpa you dalam live dae again i nak follow u la. i terlupa nak tekan your name and follow. I nak keep positive people je  hehe.

i rasa i nak ruqyah mandi bunga mandi garam. whatever yang boleh buang this negative energy. Kita kena kuat una. I miss bubbly and cheeky una

so biarlah entry depressing sedih tu dekat sini je. Hopefully next entry i . i happy. 

i boleh tulis sambil gelak gelak

yang ingin menamatkan era negativity

ttyl

una mn

Sexual Harrasment .

 

Hi 

harini something happened masa i buat live. i kena sexual harassment  First i ignore tapi this person push me to the limit . So i tengah sakit and on mc . Suara i tak okay. initially dia just cakap suara i seram okaylah i let it slide. I fikir macam oh dia nak perli my voice seram.

tapi makin lama dia keluar perangai pervert dia. I cant take it anymore. My topic cuma pasal happy chemicals, pasal goals and wishlist. Selalunya i buat live tak ramai masuk dalam 2,3 orang je paling ramai. Sebab i memang suka cakap sorang sorang. Sebab bila kita terlalu emosi or banyak berfikir i malas menulis dekat blog ni kadang kadang. So i choose to live for me to regulates my moods la. 

so sebab dia dah tunjuk pervert dia terang terangan u guys rasa i buat apa? One thing about me i memang tak kan bagi muka untuk orang orang pervert. so I marah la orang tu. Sebab entahlah sepatutnya lepas lepas puasa masih mood raya ni  takkan terus nak jadi setan balik kan?

Kalau i live memang sengaja buat topik menggoda ke i boleh la macam okay ni salah aku. Tapiii ni live muka pun tak nampak .  Nampak wallpaper dinding aku je. I memang tak buka lampu sebab tengah krisis tenaga dekat dunia kan. Semua benda mahal. Tapi tak tahulah some lelaki (not all)  i tak tahu cara otak dia berfikir. Okay i dah block . So i though settle la sampai situ...

    

TAKKKK YEE.. SALAH!!!     DIA BUAT MULTIPLE FAKE ACCOUNT TO HARASS ME DALAM LIVE

ya Allah tolonglah... get a life . I block every single account. I Anggap social media is my playground. Tiktok i tak pernah private. Tapi sebab i'm scared so i terpaksalah tapis my followers,

I tak suka keadaan macam ni sumpah tak suka. I tak tahu apa yang seksinya suara orang batuk. Tapi this is sooooooo frustating to me. Lepastu another reason ialah i rasa kena attack. someone know too much about me. Something i think i never i mentioned on live . This person  name "E" macam a bit scary to me. At first i fikir okaylah dia being friendly je. sebab dia hari hari cari gaduh. I okay je tapi ada something fishy and unsettling yang dia buat  sampai i takut.

I think i might know this person in real life. I banyak kali cakap .do i know you? can you use your real account? tapi he keep saying this is my real account.

tbh i tak suka nak private my tiktok, tapi gangguan i terima ni melampau sangat.  demi kesejahteraaan fikiran saya.....

i think for now i kena private kan dulu until i okay balik.  I geramlah sebab i enjoy ada deep conversation , sharing goals and life vision and mission sebab benda macam bagi i mental clarity so i can focus on my goals tapi i have stop to protect my peace.

Dia kalau i block dia tak datang lagi kacau okay. Dia keep kacau me. create account baru . I rasa macam sangat sangat terganggu.

i just want to be happy .  Tak tahulah kalau my happiness bother you so much. For all i know ...

i just wanted peaceeee. some peace and quite .......

please whoever behind this fake account i honestly i nak hidup tenang tanpa kacau orang. YOU DONT WANT ME TO FIND YOU.

sekali lagi i cakap... JANGAN BUAT SAYA CARI AWAKKKKKK

i tak suka nak dendam dengan orang tapi benda ni melampau sangat pun.CUKUP .

so kalau lepas dari entry ni i still dapat lagi gangguan dari you. you leave me with no choice. 

okay 

sekian terima kasih