Feeling lost and the grumpy "fat" cat

Dear diary
Life kinda hard these days. I feel lost. 
I lost my bestfriend. Yes, you. You are my bestfriend.
My boyfriend and my love one. 

Only god know how important you are to me.
I am trying my best to stop bothering you. 
I am happy to see you today.

Eventhough with a long face of yours.
Honey, what is wrong? Why you look so angry 
And grumpy? 

I want to see you smile like you usually do.
Just smile baby. Smile ;)

And oh i am also starting my diet okay honey boo.
And guess what? 
I lost 3kg in a week! 
You can't really see it because it just a small figure.


I know you might not read this. But if you
Happen to read this .. so this is my update.

Cause it is just my habit to talk to you ,
I just can't let go of that habit.

I want to hear your story too. 
I miss your happy voices,your laugh and
Story.  


So what is new thing on your collection this week?
As a shoppaholic guy you might get a new thing
This week. 

I notice you are getting thinner. I can't really see
Your fat belly.


I am predicting myself to reach 60kg by the end of this december.
I need your moral support, love. 

Keeping my promise and completing my wishlist?

Dear diary

It's hard to keep your promise when your heart broken into pieces already

It crushed. Burn , set in fire and then you try to put it back together.

How unhealthy it is,

Dear you,

One thing you need to know about me is. I am always keeping my promise.

Yesterday,i promise you something that i never did before.

I'l stop texting, calling or any form of communication including liking your post 

Or anything. 

 I am trying my best to not making you annoyed with me.

You say you will find me when you're free.

We both know darling you won't.

Deep down i know, this is just a way you say goodbye  to me.

You try your best to not hurt my feelings.

It's okay i am used to it. 

(because i am ugly, being dump because of my physical and ugly face is not a new

Thing you know)

If my absence won't make you feel lost 

It is crystal clear that my presence won't make your life any happier.

And i gotta respect that.

I respect your decision.

I am here waiting . Just because i said that i respect your decision

It doesn't mean i am stopping myself loving you 

I will stop if you want me to. Or when i find you happy with someone else

I will step back, and don't you feel sorry for me.

I am strong. Even though i cried easily. 

I am strong despite of anything. 

And that is why i try my best to divert my emotion into a new thing.

I'll try to get fit not because of you, but for myself.

It's hard you know getting dump on this age. 

And also some people once said to me.

If you want a prince,you need to be a princess,

How clear it is? You're prince and i am a panda.

Fat, and ugly panda.

I couldn't afford to be a princes,so i think i'll just try my best to be a better version

Of me, 

And completing my wishlists as soon as possible. 

May god bless.

Ttyl

Una Mn

november turning point and my 6 month challenge ( haha)

thank you for reading my blog love. i have no idea that you will read my decent blog. how embrassing. i am truly sorry if there's anything that written here hurt your feelings. 

okay. so basically a lot of things has change now. we got a new leader in the store which is fine eventhough i kinda miss the old happy environment while shyafiq was around. he is busy with discussion for the new store. break a leg dude! XD

and for the love of my life,as i said before he's being busy too. with his new "project". i am so sorry for being a cry baby. thank you for making time with me even just by a phone call. i am truly truly appreciate that. 

i will try to enjoy every moment as you said. life is too short to cry over little things. 

what meant to happen will happen, and what is not meant to happen will never happen anyways.

but it doesnt mean i give  up on you easily. i will only step back if you said so.

and for my wishlist which i already promise you to make it within 6 month isn't it? 

i already start doing it darling . i just needed your moral support. in which i hope you'll stop mentioning the best place to eat infront of me (because you always did that ) . 

it is too early to tell anything coz you know, i didn't like being pushed too. i will do it naturally.

meaning to say, i wil do it my own way.

since i got a few stuff to help me on my diet, i thing i will get my best shape within 3 months or less. or just wait for it. i didn't take any pills as promised . 

let's see how it goes.