Hi everyone,
harini i busy kemas rumah and i bought barang basah from tiktok sebab esok i akan hosting my first housewarming. I invite my mom and siblings to come over. I ajak jugak makcik i yang i pernah duduk rumah dia 2 tahun. Buat masa sekarang i tak ada kemewahan boleh bagi my mom. Duduk dengan dia cuma 3 tahun i still cant communicate with her well. Yang i tahu i dapat gaji i transfer duit. Being an eldest daughter you used to be alone most of the time. You have bottle up feelings. I cant help that. Kadang kadang lagi senang luahkan benda dekat strangers yang tak tahu sangat pasal hidup kita . Because to me they dont care and they will forget.
sebenarnya ada banyak benda yang i dengar lately. A few people already reach out to me. I understand that maybe you truly wants to check up on me. I am fine. I am totally fine. Kalau ada benda yang i refuse nak jawab ke or you nampak i sedih dekat social media ke
trust me ... it just me overthinking about my future je
i cuma burn out kerja. I taknak nampak manusia tak bersyukur dengan apa Allah bagi. I bersyukur sangat cuma i cant deny that this job cost me my inner peace. Dulu mungkin i nak sangat jadi corporate girl. Ada my own desk. Nak kurus cantik. Ootd cantik cantik
now i just want a simple happy life. I still want to earn money but i want to do business and writing. Kita ni Allah cipta untuk beribadah and i want to plan my daily activities based on waktu solat . You know what i want ? I just want to have a simple business dekat mall it can be like small store yang jual makanan. I wanted to have few staff and i nak jual retort food ke or my own cafe maybe? Then i can go masjid , pergi usrah ke, dengar talk. Between maghrib and isyak i teringin nak ada time just for me and Allah . Baca quran. Just how arwah opah ajar i dulu. Kalau ada readers yang baca jangan fikir i alim sangat tau. Jawapannya tak and belum lagi. Tapi tak salah kan ada cita cita macam tu? I still manusia biasa yang masih suka buat benda random tapi under control la. I masih introvert weirdo yang cuba jadi manusia yang at least kalau werdo pun biarlah jadi weirdo beriman HAHAHAHA.
i've accepted long time ago i will never be anyone cup of tea . But i want to be my own cup of tea.
Prioritizing my inner peace and hopefully i get to be beautiful too. Maybe not as beautiful as those young girls out there but just simply my version of beautiful. Imagine a happy una with size xs .. awww. i will be over the moon. Until that day come i gotta commit . InshaAllah. i tak ada nak prove dekat siapa siapa pun. I just do this for me. For this little version of me yang still hopeful, my childlike spirit. I am a fun person underneath because of her.
yang selalu bagi i semangat dalam diam doakan kebaikan untuk i regardless we know each or not,
thank you . semoga semua benda yang baik baik berbalik pada korang jugak. Banyak benda yang terjadi sepanjang setahun ni ada yang i rasa better i keep it to myself. Only a few people that i trust know. Those that i trust wont blab about this . one of it is my trainer. It just slip when i talk to him yesterday. I tak cerita banyak takut member trauma. That is the last thing i want to do in this world. Traumatizing others with my problems. The other would be none other than my cousin bella. She is far away from me . Haihhh i tak sempat nak rindu dia jugak sebab almost everyday she will send me reels . Japan japan
ya sayangku bella. I kena kurus la cepat cepat. At least kalau jadi pergi japan biarlah aku lawa sikit kan?
even i masih takut naik flights. I google 6 ke 8 jam kan flight to japan? Those hours percayalah i takkan tidur i akan baca yassin sepanjang flight. Bila la ketakutan naik flight i ni akan hilang? Bukan tak pernah naik tapi everytime i naik i memang akan panic attack. I remember my flight to jakarta dulu. Mat salleh kat sebelah i gelak gelak siot betullah. I harap kalau jadi la plan kitorang bella takkan annoyed =')
someone pernah cakap dekat i...
una kalau nak mati dalam rumah boleh mati.
Ya tahu... i cant help it! i hope i can find cure for this =')
okay lah korang i nak kena siap pergi beli barang for house warming . I hope everyone will get a wonderful october . Whatever that you guys want and wish for may be granted by Allah
May this October you bloom like flowers
okay tu jelah for now.
till then
Love,
Una Mn
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